To hell with the notion that once you get married, you stop looking at other people. John and I each have a famous British crush, and we don't hide it from each other, either. There's no reason to. I have had a crush on this British actor named Andrew Knott since I was like 14. The wierd thing is, is that half the time, Andrew is really gorgeous, and the other half the time, he's ugly as a mother fucker. There's no in-between with him.
He looks ugly as hell here, here (on the left), and here. I saw that movie, History Boys, and it had to be the worst movie ever. It had no point. Pictures where Andrew Knott is good looking-
here, here (on the right), here, and here (fourth from right).
John likes this British singer named Lilly Allen.
Some of her music videos crack me up, especially the one I linked to above. She does really subtle humor in her videos. If you blink, you miss it.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
I forgot about July 4th
Really, I am not too gung ho with patriotic holidays ever since I saw 500 Nations with Kevin Costner. In fact, I am not too keen on any kind of holiday, because in the last few years they have been all about shopping, but that's a whole nother thing.
But, it's nice to have John home in the middle of the week. It makes up for the fact that things aren't open, and not getting mail. I am taking advantage of the fact that he's home to cook a lot of meals, and if I make extra, to freeze it with the food saver. I feel a lot more organized now that I have real meals in the fridge instead of just a bunch of ingredients.
I have made beef stew, seafood fettucini, sloppy Joes.
Tomorrow is a difficult day, because it's the birthday of a dear friend who passed away. He would have turned 28 tomorrow. I would write his story on this blog, but over the years, I feel like I have told it to people so much, that I am sick of hearing myself say it...
But, it's nice to have John home in the middle of the week. It makes up for the fact that things aren't open, and not getting mail. I am taking advantage of the fact that he's home to cook a lot of meals, and if I make extra, to freeze it with the food saver. I feel a lot more organized now that I have real meals in the fridge instead of just a bunch of ingredients.
I have made beef stew, seafood fettucini, sloppy Joes.
Tomorrow is a difficult day, because it's the birthday of a dear friend who passed away. He would have turned 28 tomorrow. I would write his story on this blog, but over the years, I feel like I have told it to people so much, that I am sick of hearing myself say it...
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Am I bad for thinking this????
On the website for Hann Funeral Home, where my aunt's funeral will be this week, they have all the people for whom there will be (or recently have been )funerals listed on the side bar. Is it just me, or does that kind of look like a notice for a comedy club, listing what comedians will be appearing? (Except for the whole d. in parentheses).
I don't know why I had that thought. And I sure as hell ain't going to tell my mom, or anyone else in my family that I had that thought, either... Greeks have a "set way" to grieve. Certain things are acceptable to say and do, and certain things aren't. Ever since right after my grandma died when I was nearly 14, I have kind of been the advocate for "let people grieve how they want to" whenever someone dies in the family...
But I am still not going to say out loud that that website reminded me of a comedy club...
I don't know why I had that thought. And I sure as hell ain't going to tell my mom, or anyone else in my family that I had that thought, either... Greeks have a "set way" to grieve. Certain things are acceptable to say and do, and certain things aren't. Ever since right after my grandma died when I was nearly 14, I have kind of been the advocate for "let people grieve how they want to" whenever someone dies in the family...
But I am still not going to say out loud that that website reminded me of a comedy club...
Tubesday
So, today I took Annalise to my job so that I could show her off to everyone. I felt a little down, because it made me miss work.
The place looks empty. I think it's because they are in between hallway decor right now.
As I was leaving, a woman flagged me down and asked to use my cell phone because she locked her baby in the car. Unfortunately, I don't have a cell phone. So I flagged some other people down, and they let her use theirs. Then, I left. She was stupid. Who was she going to call? A lock smith? By the time they get there... I would have just broken the window.
Anna is sleeping now, and I can tell she will be out for a while. She was up for a long time, and was really fussy at the end of it. I should be cleaning up around here while she's out, but I really don't give a shit that this place is a shithole. We're moving out in less than a month.
The place looks empty. I think it's because they are in between hallway decor right now.
As I was leaving, a woman flagged me down and asked to use my cell phone because she locked her baby in the car. Unfortunately, I don't have a cell phone. So I flagged some other people down, and they let her use theirs. Then, I left. She was stupid. Who was she going to call? A lock smith? By the time they get there... I would have just broken the window.
Anna is sleeping now, and I can tell she will be out for a while. She was up for a long time, and was really fussy at the end of it. I should be cleaning up around here while she's out, but I really don't give a shit that this place is a shithole. We're moving out in less than a month.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Found them!
These aren't the exact pictures I was thinking of, but they're pretty close. Aunt Mary is not in the one with my mom. The one Aunt Mary is in, my mom wasn't born yet...
More old pics
I found these old pictures while searching for pics of my mom and aunts as kids. This was the summer of 1995. My mom and I spent a couple weeks in July, 1995 in Zakynthos, Greece. On my 17th birthday, we went to this fancy restaurant there in the mountains. The dancing is a nightly thing. Four professional dancers first perform Greek dances, and then people get up to dance more casually with them. The guy I am holding hands with is one of the professionals, hence the outfit. I thought he was good looking, and kind of inched my way in soon enough to get to dance next to him. Later, I got to drink, even though I was only 17, because in Greece, the drinking age is 12 as long as you are with a parent. 
Aunt died after all... 4/4/29- 6/30/07
I blogged before about the confusion regarding my oldest aunt's medical condition. A couple weeks ago, she was actually doing well (just about to pull through) and my other aunts thought she was dying, creating a ruckus. Then, it got to the point that she was actually dying, and my other aunts thought she was pulling through. They told my mother, "She's doing really, really well. They took her off of all her medications, put her in another room, and all they are giving her now is morphine."
My mom was like... uhh... that usually means they are dying. But she didn't say anything. I think it was a combo of not wanting to upset them, and not wanting to look stupid after telling a couple of them off for telling her Aunt Mary was dying when she actually wasn't.
Well, Aunt Mary died yesterday at 4:22 pm. Mom is going to Chicago for one day, and one day only, because she can't handle any more than that with her other sisters. She's "staying" with her neice who is only 4 years younger than she is, but I don't know what she means by "staying" since she isn't spending the night in Chicago.
I have this really nice picture taken in 1945. In it, my mom is an infant, and all of her teenage, and pre-teen sisters are surrounding her. One is holding her, I think it's Aunt Mary, but I am not sure... I will try to find it, scan it and post it here...
My mom was like... uhh... that usually means they are dying. But she didn't say anything. I think it was a combo of not wanting to upset them, and not wanting to look stupid after telling a couple of them off for telling her Aunt Mary was dying when she actually wasn't.
Well, Aunt Mary died yesterday at 4:22 pm. Mom is going to Chicago for one day, and one day only, because she can't handle any more than that with her other sisters. She's "staying" with her neice who is only 4 years younger than she is, but I don't know what she means by "staying" since she isn't spending the night in Chicago.
I have this really nice picture taken in 1945. In it, my mom is an infant, and all of her teenage, and pre-teen sisters are surrounding her. One is holding her, I think it's Aunt Mary, but I am not sure... I will try to find it, scan it and post it here...
Saturday, June 30, 2007
I now have two reasons to love driving around
When I was younger, and used to get really bad cramps, driving in the car really made them go away.
Now, I have two reasons to love driving around- it calms a fussy baby, too, lol. Anna and I just got back from circling the 610 loop a couple times.
the websites were wrong- sometimes "arms" don't really help.
I made some really great food today- great potato salad, shish kabobs, zuccini parmesan, and a salad. Don't you know, after buying cookbooks, I find the recipes online...
Now, I have two reasons to love driving around- it calms a fussy baby, too, lol. Anna and I just got back from circling the 610 loop a couple times.
the websites were wrong- sometimes "arms" don't really help.
I made some really great food today- great potato salad, shish kabobs, zuccini parmesan, and a salad. Don't you know, after buying cookbooks, I find the recipes online...
Friday, June 29, 2007
cafeteria style
I have really only seen people criticize "cafeteria style" when talking about religion. Taking what you like and leaving the rest seems to get a lot of people in a tizzy. When reading about the religion aspect of it, I always kind of thought to myself... everyone does that whether they realize it or not. Everyone believes what they want to believe, even if they are completely sold out to one particular religious "label". I have seen so many people consider themselves die-hard Mormon, or die-hard Baptist or die-hard whatever- and I have seen each one of them believe their own thing, regardless.
Over time, I concluded that we not only do this with religion, but we do it with every other aspect of life. I think it's human nature. I always have thought this.
So, then, why do I feel uncomfortably guilty doing cafetieria style with two important aspects of life:
Baby care, and
Financial advice
I read a lot on attachment parenting and "Natural Child" before I had Anna. Perhaps because I always worked with so many kids, and felt bad that I didn't have time for every single one of them? Now that the baby is here, it seems like some of that advice works and some doesn't. I won't go into the specifics. I suppose this is just part of what people said I would "change my mind" about once I actually had a kid. So, no big deal.
With financial advice, I have no problem following the basic advice - stay out of debt, save, live beneath your means, etc, etc.
I have trouble, though, with homeownership, which I talked about before on here. I also have trouble with how many months living expenses you need in your liquid savings before trying other kinds of savings. I have heard 3 months, 6 months, 8 months, and 1 year.
In reality, who really does know beforehand what kind of emergency will strike, and how long you would need to dip? The fact that there are suggestions for this is absurd in and of itself, because every situation is different.
Over time, I concluded that we not only do this with religion, but we do it with every other aspect of life. I think it's human nature. I always have thought this.
So, then, why do I feel uncomfortably guilty doing cafetieria style with two important aspects of life:
Baby care, and
Financial advice
I read a lot on attachment parenting and "Natural Child" before I had Anna. Perhaps because I always worked with so many kids, and felt bad that I didn't have time for every single one of them? Now that the baby is here, it seems like some of that advice works and some doesn't. I won't go into the specifics. I suppose this is just part of what people said I would "change my mind" about once I actually had a kid. So, no big deal.
With financial advice, I have no problem following the basic advice - stay out of debt, save, live beneath your means, etc, etc.
I have trouble, though, with homeownership, which I talked about before on here. I also have trouble with how many months living expenses you need in your liquid savings before trying other kinds of savings. I have heard 3 months, 6 months, 8 months, and 1 year.
In reality, who really does know beforehand what kind of emergency will strike, and how long you would need to dip? The fact that there are suggestions for this is absurd in and of itself, because every situation is different.
Parents left
I am so relieved. One of the reasons I like living 1200 miles away is that from all the way over here, I have the freedom to make all my own decisions and still have a good relationship with them.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
sewing/new wardrobe
Not a whole lot of people know this, but when I was 19-20 or so, I was a fashion design major. I changed majors when I set my goal at age 20. I used to love to sew, but unfortunately, it has been years since I have done so, except for 4 or 5 quilts (That have only been pieced, never quilted... I need to work on that, too). I would like to start up again. I decided that a good place to start would be to make new clothes for myself, from existing patterns, and then try my hand at all the hard stuff again. I decided that some easy patterns for this are Simplicity 8523, 5455, 5957, 5306, and 4366. (only one view from each envelope).
What sucks is that, years ago, Joann's and Hancock's used to have sales where a certain brand of patterns were only 99 cents. Sometimes, they would be on sale for $1.99. That was the time to stock up. Sadly, those days are over from what I understand. I would have to get back on the Joann's mailing list to be sure.
These are mostly easy patterns. I would practice first on Muslin fabric, and then make the actual garment. That's what people do when they make more fancy, couture gowns, but since I haven't done this in years, and I plan on using nice fabrics, it might be a good idea.
Speaking of fabrics- When I took my textiles class, I did my "big paper" on what was then a new fabric called Tencel. It's so hard to find now, but I might be able to order some online. If I can't, there are many other fabrics that are nice that I seem to have forgotten about in the past 10 years...
What sucks is that, years ago, Joann's and Hancock's used to have sales where a certain brand of patterns were only 99 cents. Sometimes, they would be on sale for $1.99. That was the time to stock up. Sadly, those days are over from what I understand. I would have to get back on the Joann's mailing list to be sure.
These are mostly easy patterns. I would practice first on Muslin fabric, and then make the actual garment. That's what people do when they make more fancy, couture gowns, but since I haven't done this in years, and I plan on using nice fabrics, it might be a good idea.
Speaking of fabrics- When I took my textiles class, I did my "big paper" on what was then a new fabric called Tencel. It's so hard to find now, but I might be able to order some online. If I can't, there are many other fabrics that are nice that I seem to have forgotten about in the past 10 years...
Wednesday's Baby Weekly
So, pregnancy weekly emails have turned into "Baby Weekly" now. I tried unsubscribing from this list, but still, they come. Fortunately, the baby emails are about a thousand times less annoying than the pregnancy ones. (Remember "This week, you'll have hemorrhoids"?)
Today, the email I got stated this:
"Breathing Space is dedicated to helping new mothers achieve and maintain emotional stability and physical fitness for a satisfying existence. From weekly health and wellness articles to meditation tips and yoga exercises, Breathing Space offers a peaceful place where you can nurture your mind, body, spirit and baby to set the stage for confident parenting.
Open your heart and observe your life force as you cope with the demands of motherhood"
I have not really articulated on this blog enough how great I have been feeling since having the baby. I feel, literally, like a new person. Most of it is relief that nothing went wrong. A lot of it is basically being rid of feeling like I have a "disease" and replacing that with having a perfect new little person in my life. A little bit of it is having almost my old body back. I only weigh 9 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight now, but yet feel so much slimmer and so much more in shape for some reason.
I have noticed that stretching and breathing feel *extremely* good since giving birth. Before I was pregnant, stretching and breathing exercises did not feel nearly this great. They were just a chore to do before and after jogging, so I wouldn't be sore the next day. Now, it just makes me feel awesome, and for that reason, I was thinking of taking up yoga. Or meditation. Or something to that effect.
This email that I got above suggests yoga and meditation for new moms, but seemingly for different reasons. Maybe this is the wrong thing to be feeling, but the wordage they use- "cope" and "demands of motherhood" kind of remind me of all the negativity that caused me to feel so horribly emotionally during pregnancy. They think you should do yoga and meditation because it's something to help you cope with something horrible in your life. I want to do it, because it feels good, I feel good, and life is pretty much good all around.
(I can say that again, whew).
Today, the email I got stated this:
"Breathing Space is dedicated to helping new mothers achieve and maintain emotional stability and physical fitness for a satisfying existence. From weekly health and wellness articles to meditation tips and yoga exercises, Breathing Space offers a peaceful place where you can nurture your mind, body, spirit and baby to set the stage for confident parenting.
Open your heart and observe your life force as you cope with the demands of motherhood"
I have not really articulated on this blog enough how great I have been feeling since having the baby. I feel, literally, like a new person. Most of it is relief that nothing went wrong. A lot of it is basically being rid of feeling like I have a "disease" and replacing that with having a perfect new little person in my life. A little bit of it is having almost my old body back. I only weigh 9 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight now, but yet feel so much slimmer and so much more in shape for some reason.
I have noticed that stretching and breathing feel *extremely* good since giving birth. Before I was pregnant, stretching and breathing exercises did not feel nearly this great. They were just a chore to do before and after jogging, so I wouldn't be sore the next day. Now, it just makes me feel awesome, and for that reason, I was thinking of taking up yoga. Or meditation. Or something to that effect.
This email that I got above suggests yoga and meditation for new moms, but seemingly for different reasons. Maybe this is the wrong thing to be feeling, but the wordage they use- "cope" and "demands of motherhood" kind of remind me of all the negativity that caused me to feel so horribly emotionally during pregnancy. They think you should do yoga and meditation because it's something to help you cope with something horrible in your life. I want to do it, because it feels good, I feel good, and life is pretty much good all around.
(I can say that again, whew).
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Tubesday
I was thinking today how much I love reading other people's blogs. I don't know why I like it so much. I like it when people blog around a theme, and I tend to read blogs that have to do with international adoption, homeschooling, feminism and politics. (even though none of those have anything to do with me, except maybe politics).
We had a good day today, except for the fact that Shadow had really nasty diarrhea, wouldn't eat his food, and ate grass. Lord only knows what crap my mother-in-law fed him.
For the first time since a few days before giving birth, I read those forums where all the women were due the same time as me. Their babies are here, too, for the most part, and it seems like all of the babies literally cry 24/7, and never sleep, ever. That is seriously how the babies are described, and of course, the women are all "going crazy" and so on.
All I could think of was back when I used to work at the child abuse shelter- I took care of drug addicted babies who were like that. That's the only time when I saw a baby who would literally not stop crying. Wonder what would happen if I said that on those forums? Lol, I couldn't. It's one of those evil things that I think, but can't say. (But, it's the truth, at least in my personal exp). It's why I am happy I have a blog.
I put together the card for my obgyn, even though my follow up appointment isn't until the ninth. I wrote the card, signed it, put the gift card in it, and wrote "Dr. Patolia" really nicely on the front. Sometime next week, I am going to put together like a snack gift basket for the whole staff. I am trying to work out how to make it look not so much like an Easter basket, and more of a thank you basket. Maybe something with no handles? But then again, the handles help to hold up more stuff, to fit more in. I'll figure it out next week...
I'm usually not the "Thank you gift" type, but I am really really wanting to do *something* to show how grateful and glad I am that things turned out the way they did. I was looking at Annalise today, and I asked her, "Can you believe we did it? We made it this far?"
Pregnancy really sucked.
I am so frickin glad it's over. I never, ever want to do it again.
Ever. I'm quitting while I am ahead.
We had a good day today, except for the fact that Shadow had really nasty diarrhea, wouldn't eat his food, and ate grass. Lord only knows what crap my mother-in-law fed him.
For the first time since a few days before giving birth, I read those forums where all the women were due the same time as me. Their babies are here, too, for the most part, and it seems like all of the babies literally cry 24/7, and never sleep, ever. That is seriously how the babies are described, and of course, the women are all "going crazy" and so on.
All I could think of was back when I used to work at the child abuse shelter- I took care of drug addicted babies who were like that. That's the only time when I saw a baby who would literally not stop crying. Wonder what would happen if I said that on those forums? Lol, I couldn't. It's one of those evil things that I think, but can't say. (But, it's the truth, at least in my personal exp). It's why I am happy I have a blog.
I put together the card for my obgyn, even though my follow up appointment isn't until the ninth. I wrote the card, signed it, put the gift card in it, and wrote "Dr. Patolia" really nicely on the front. Sometime next week, I am going to put together like a snack gift basket for the whole staff. I am trying to work out how to make it look not so much like an Easter basket, and more of a thank you basket. Maybe something with no handles? But then again, the handles help to hold up more stuff, to fit more in. I'll figure it out next week...
I'm usually not the "Thank you gift" type, but I am really really wanting to do *something* to show how grateful and glad I am that things turned out the way they did. I was looking at Annalise today, and I asked her, "Can you believe we did it? We made it this far?"
Pregnancy really sucked.
I am so frickin glad it's over. I never, ever want to do it again.
Ever. I'm quitting while I am ahead.
Shadow is back!
Yay!!! We bitched, we moaned, we begged, and we got our doggie back!!!
He's doing great with the baby. We had to kind of work with him to teach him that he can't really play with her yet, and still keeping them in separate rooms when we can't totally monitor. But, he's doing great.
It's so funny how HEAVY Shadow seems now when we pick him up. I guessed maybe my mother-in-law fed him too much, John said, no, we are just used to carrying around an 8 or 9 pound baby, instead of a 25 pound dog.
I am going to do some cooking today. I am thinking about a potato salad, seafood fettuccine, and maybe something from the Martha Stewart book.
He's doing great with the baby. We had to kind of work with him to teach him that he can't really play with her yet, and still keeping them in separate rooms when we can't totally monitor. But, he's doing great.
It's so funny how HEAVY Shadow seems now when we pick him up. I guessed maybe my mother-in-law fed him too much, John said, no, we are just used to carrying around an 8 or 9 pound baby, instead of a 25 pound dog.
I am going to do some cooking today. I am thinking about a potato salad, seafood fettuccine, and maybe something from the Martha Stewart book.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Parents
My parents came over again today, and it's quite obvious by this point that they want to retire here.
I am beginning to get a taste of what it's going to be like to have them back around.
It's not like it would have been any kind of shock. Whether they move here or not, I'll always have my in-laws to deal with, so what's adding two more parents to the mix?
You may remember their upheaval about our TV not being satisfactory. They asked me, did I get a new TV yet? I said, no, sorry, I haven't had the chance. Mom replied, "Well. You had a chance to go to half price books to get cookbooks you wanted." She said it in that tone, that how dare you tone.
I thought about it a minute. "Yes", I said. "I did. I am sorry."
That short conversation brought back some memories. Maybe because it's been over 7 years that I have been on my own, 5 of which in a different state- but I had forgotten about *that*. That whole, getting mad at me for prioritizing things I would rather do over things they would rather have me do. It was like a blast from the past from my teen years. "What do you mean you didn't have a chance to clean your room? You were at your friend's house for 6 hours..."
"What do you mean you didn't go buy a new TV? You had a chance to buy cookbooks."
I am almost 29 years old, and.... *that* is back. When did it happen?
But back to the in-laws.
I emailed MIL about getting my dog back sometime today. She replied....
"We discussed it, and we don't think you are ready for the dog yet."
Huh?
I am kind of getting depressed. It feels like I had a few good years of really being on my own and having my own choices in life. For that, I am glad. But the idea that it's going away kind of eats at me. What happened? Was it because I had a baby? I can't tell anyone about being depressed about these things, because they'll just blame the baby. I'll just get, "Yeah, isn't motherhood rough?"
No. Not like pushing 29 and feeling like a high school kid again is.
I am beginning to get a taste of what it's going to be like to have them back around.
It's not like it would have been any kind of shock. Whether they move here or not, I'll always have my in-laws to deal with, so what's adding two more parents to the mix?
You may remember their upheaval about our TV not being satisfactory. They asked me, did I get a new TV yet? I said, no, sorry, I haven't had the chance. Mom replied, "Well. You had a chance to go to half price books to get cookbooks you wanted." She said it in that tone, that how dare you tone.
I thought about it a minute. "Yes", I said. "I did. I am sorry."
That short conversation brought back some memories. Maybe because it's been over 7 years that I have been on my own, 5 of which in a different state- but I had forgotten about *that*. That whole, getting mad at me for prioritizing things I would rather do over things they would rather have me do. It was like a blast from the past from my teen years. "What do you mean you didn't have a chance to clean your room? You were at your friend's house for 6 hours..."
"What do you mean you didn't go buy a new TV? You had a chance to buy cookbooks."
I am almost 29 years old, and.... *that* is back. When did it happen?
But back to the in-laws.
I emailed MIL about getting my dog back sometime today. She replied....
"We discussed it, and we don't think you are ready for the dog yet."
Huh?
I am kind of getting depressed. It feels like I had a few good years of really being on my own and having my own choices in life. For that, I am glad. But the idea that it's going away kind of eats at me. What happened? Was it because I had a baby? I can't tell anyone about being depressed about these things, because they'll just blame the baby. I'll just get, "Yeah, isn't motherhood rough?"
No. Not like pushing 29 and feeling like a high school kid again is.
I want my dog back.
In-laws brought it up about watching Shadow when we brought the baby home, and they brought it up when I was still in my first trimester. John and I hadn't thought about it, and throughout my pregnancy, it was just assumed that it would happen this way, and it did. We didn't bring it up, they did. It was one of those, "We're trying to help you because having a baby is such a terrible, horrible, no good very bad thing, that it's impossible to take care of your dog, too" kinds of things.
Now- you guessed it.
They are *complaining* about taking care of our dog. We didn't ask them to. They confiscated him. I am so down about this. I want to go over there today, and get him back.
Now- you guessed it.
They are *complaining* about taking care of our dog. We didn't ask them to. They confiscated him. I am so down about this. I want to go over there today, and get him back.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Ok, now I am pissed.
I opened the front door this morning, and a paper from the landlord fell out of the crack on the door.
This is what it said:
NO RENT INCREASES DURING OUR FLOWER POWER SALES EVENT
Renew your lease sometime this weekend, and your rent will stay the same. In order to receive this special, you must come by the office and sign the contract before 5 pm. Sunday afternoon. If you cannot make it while the office is open, please call me, and I will bring the contract to your home, but the same restrictions apply as above.
Dammit.
This lease that we have was a two year one. Two years ago, when we signed it (it was a renewal, we have been here for three years), there was different management, and they gave us a *really* good deal. It was a steal. That's why we signed for two years, to lock in that rate as long as possible.
Now, I really don't want to move. I am kicking myself in the ass right now, I am so mad.
Anyway, I just had to get this out. If only...
Saturday, June 23, 2007
As requested...
I had one commenter ask for pics of Annalise, and here they are. She had a pretty good day today, too.
Me, not so much. Mom says now that those condos I blogged about are crap.
Sigh.
Anna had a little bit of a tough couple hours. She was very restless and fussy. What finally helped her was some of those mylecon drops. As soon as we gave her some, she sighed, stopped crying and looked around happy.
Lol.
I sat at my desk and held her while I spun the chair slightly. She liked it. I was talking to her in a gentle voice, and told her, "Don't worry, be happy", and I think I said it in like a Jamaican accent.
Two minutes later, I hear the real "Don't worry, Be happy" song coming from John's computer. He heard me tell the baby that, and looked it up on youtube. We're so into Youtube lately, it's funny.
Also what I did today- I went to half price books because I wanted some cookbooks. This is unlike me. I am usually against spending money on cookbooks, because if I want a recipe for something, I can always get it online. But for some reason, the last couple of months, I have not had luck with online recipes. I couldn't find any, and when I did, they turned out bad.
I got it in my head that I wanted a Rachel Ray cookbook. So I found some at Half Price Books, and the recipes were so stupid. That is so unlike Rachel Ray. I always liked watching her, I don't know what's up with the books she wrote. She had recipes for things like, "Greens with balsamic vinegar and strawberries". I was like, huh? Balsamic vinegar and strawberries? That sounds disgusting. All the recipes in her books were weird combos of stuff like that. Like she was trying too hard to be gourmet. I don't remember her shows making weird stuff like that, but oh well.
I ended up buying Williams Sonoma "Potatoes", a book dedicated to barbecue, and a Martha Stewart book. I was happy with my choices.
The gay pride parade was going on today, and half price books was along the route. I think this is why HPB closed the bathrooms. They didn't want people wandering in the store just to go to the restroom, so they put "out of order" signs. This sucked, because I had to go.
The parade looked like a ton of fun. I really would have stayed, but... I'm not gay.
Unfortunately, it rained on their parade.
Edited to add for nostalgic purpouses:
I hadn't heard this song for a while. It's an oldie, but goodie.
Condos, adoption, surprise terms and fees
My parents went to see these small condos near the Nassau Bay area. They told us about them, and these are something I might actually consider buying.
The reason I am not too keen on home ownership is because the main reason I always thought you should buy a home is so that when you pay off your mortgage, you will no longer have monthly housing payments. At least, that's why *I* wanted to buy. This past January, we looked at homes to buy, and learned a lot of stuff we didn't want to learn about the process. Main thing being is that there are all these extra fees with owning that no one ever tells you about. Once you pay off the mortgage, there are all these fees lingering that cost as much as renting an apartment anyway.
These small condos seem like a better deal, though. They do have an association fee of about $250 a month. *However*, this money includes water, electricity and cable. *No* other housing development offered that. The association fees were about the same, $250 a month, but utilities and definitely cable were extra. I was against paying association fees, but I would pay a $250 one if it meant all that was included.
Secondly- the property taxes were only about $1200-$1800 a year. That's a nice drop from the $5-10K of houses here. $5-10 K a year is what people pay per year for rent for apartments. For houses, this is property taxes alone.
But, the 12-1800 a year is a lot more doable. That's what, $100 or a little more a month?
And, the condos themselves were cheap. We could put 10% or 20% down on an average one right now if we wanted to, and the amounts that they cost are low enough for a payoff to be a realistic goal.
Mom was preaching to me and John about it yesterday when John came home for lunch. Then, mom mentioned that when making a down payment, you pay $1000 in "earnest money". John got this look on his face, and said, "What's earnest money?"
Mom said, "Money you pay them when you make the down payment, so that they know you are serious about buying the house."
She went on to say, "Then in a couple of months, they might want a couple thousand more..."
Me and John LOOKED at each other.
Yet another home buying term we never heard of before, that involves a lot of money we didn't know we had to have for this. Ugh... how much more of those will there be? I am not going to drop three grand "just to prove" I want the house. The fact that I am making a down payment alone should tell them I am serious about it. Wtf is wrong with people?
It seems like the further we delve into this process, the more hidden terms and fees pop up that we never had to deal with renting. And we aren't even delving that far!!!
When talking about owning, though, John and I do get hopeful about owning making us approvable for an adoption someday. That was always one of our dreams, to adopt, (although me and John want to for different reasons). I just have a really strong feeling that there is an older boy out there waiting for us, about 4 or 5 or so. I have dreamed about it several times, and I just have "that feeling". We'd most likely not be approved renting, not even in the super classy area that Nassau Bay is. And besides, will social workers think the same about condos that they think about apartments, even if it is owned instead of rented? They are still attached, and still small. Even if they did like our place, how would we explain meeting on the internet, John being an auto tech, etc, etc, etc. We are not sure it's worth it to buy a home, *just* to be able to adopt someday, because it isn't the only thing social workers would look down their noses at.
It's a little premature to be thinking about all of this right now. We'd be best off if we just sat on everything for at least a year. Then again, that's what I am doing right now by typing all of this out. Sitting on it. None of what I am saying right now is part of any kind of serious plan.
The reason I am not too keen on home ownership is because the main reason I always thought you should buy a home is so that when you pay off your mortgage, you will no longer have monthly housing payments. At least, that's why *I* wanted to buy. This past January, we looked at homes to buy, and learned a lot of stuff we didn't want to learn about the process. Main thing being is that there are all these extra fees with owning that no one ever tells you about. Once you pay off the mortgage, there are all these fees lingering that cost as much as renting an apartment anyway.
These small condos seem like a better deal, though. They do have an association fee of about $250 a month. *However*, this money includes water, electricity and cable. *No* other housing development offered that. The association fees were about the same, $250 a month, but utilities and definitely cable were extra. I was against paying association fees, but I would pay a $250 one if it meant all that was included.
Secondly- the property taxes were only about $1200-$1800 a year. That's a nice drop from the $5-10K of houses here. $5-10 K a year is what people pay per year for rent for apartments. For houses, this is property taxes alone.
But, the 12-1800 a year is a lot more doable. That's what, $100 or a little more a month?
And, the condos themselves were cheap. We could put 10% or 20% down on an average one right now if we wanted to, and the amounts that they cost are low enough for a payoff to be a realistic goal.
Mom was preaching to me and John about it yesterday when John came home for lunch. Then, mom mentioned that when making a down payment, you pay $1000 in "earnest money". John got this look on his face, and said, "What's earnest money?"
Mom said, "Money you pay them when you make the down payment, so that they know you are serious about buying the house."
She went on to say, "Then in a couple of months, they might want a couple thousand more..."
Me and John LOOKED at each other.
Yet another home buying term we never heard of before, that involves a lot of money we didn't know we had to have for this. Ugh... how much more of those will there be? I am not going to drop three grand "just to prove" I want the house. The fact that I am making a down payment alone should tell them I am serious about it. Wtf is wrong with people?
It seems like the further we delve into this process, the more hidden terms and fees pop up that we never had to deal with renting. And we aren't even delving that far!!!
When talking about owning, though, John and I do get hopeful about owning making us approvable for an adoption someday. That was always one of our dreams, to adopt, (although me and John want to for different reasons). I just have a really strong feeling that there is an older boy out there waiting for us, about 4 or 5 or so. I have dreamed about it several times, and I just have "that feeling". We'd most likely not be approved renting, not even in the super classy area that Nassau Bay is. And besides, will social workers think the same about condos that they think about apartments, even if it is owned instead of rented? They are still attached, and still small. Even if they did like our place, how would we explain meeting on the internet, John being an auto tech, etc, etc, etc. We are not sure it's worth it to buy a home, *just* to be able to adopt someday, because it isn't the only thing social workers would look down their noses at.
It's a little premature to be thinking about all of this right now. We'd be best off if we just sat on everything for at least a year. Then again, that's what I am doing right now by typing all of this out. Sitting on it. None of what I am saying right now is part of any kind of serious plan.
Going to have to buy a TV :-(
The TV in this room is broken. The only other thing we have to watch is the wall projector, but we can only watch DVD's on it. We used to have cable on the projector, but no longer do thanks to my pregnancy induced money saving craze.
Since we are moving in just over a month, we aren't doing anything about it. We don't need a TV. We have netflix DVD's coming almost daily, and we have the internet for entertainment as well. In the new apartment, we are going to get cable on the projector again, and trash this old TV.
My parents are going bananas over the fact that we have no TV to just sit and watch. Constantly, they offer to buy us one. I keep trying to explain what I just did above. My father started acting like we don't have money to buy a TV, which pissed me off. We have more money than they do, I'll bet. The truth is, is that my parents just won't let up about it. They constantly bring it up, and act like it's so important.
I give up, and I am going out today to buy another TV. Who cares at this point that it's one more thing to move, my parents will be here almost another week, and I can't listen to it anymore.
Since we are moving in just over a month, we aren't doing anything about it. We don't need a TV. We have netflix DVD's coming almost daily, and we have the internet for entertainment as well. In the new apartment, we are going to get cable on the projector again, and trash this old TV.
My parents are going bananas over the fact that we have no TV to just sit and watch. Constantly, they offer to buy us one. I keep trying to explain what I just did above. My father started acting like we don't have money to buy a TV, which pissed me off. We have more money than they do, I'll bet. The truth is, is that my parents just won't let up about it. They constantly bring it up, and act like it's so important.
I give up, and I am going out today to buy another TV. Who cares at this point that it's one more thing to move, my parents will be here almost another week, and I can't listen to it anymore.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Some things I forgot to blog on re: the birth
When my doctor came to see me on rounds the day after Annalise was born, she started raving about what a good job I did. I said, I "didn't know how I did that". And it was true- I *didn't* know how I did it. Then, the doctor told me something that I was glad she didn't tell me before the birth. She said that she was starting to think I had "half a chance" of needing a C-section. Why you may ask? Because she thought the baby was starting to measure almost 9 pounds, and since I am 5 foot 3 and all...
Well, Anna weighed 8 pounds 7 oz, and I didn't need a C-section after all.
Not only was I SO glad she did not tell me this, (I had bad anxiety in my pregnancy and if I knew I probably would have freaked out and scheduled a C-section anyway), but I was SO glad that I ended up not listening to all this "internet advice" to insist on going all the way to 42 weeks without an induction. All this stuff about pitocin increasing your chance of C-section.... well, if I had gone to 42 weeks (I'd still be pregnant now, uuughhhh), then Annalise would have definitely ended up weighing 9 (or more), and THEN I would have needed a C-section.
*Not* inducing would have increased my chances.
Lesson number 89732 for why to filter the advice you get online.
I was also feeling kind of sad today. I was feeling sad, because of all the negativity in my pregnancy about stuff going wrong, negative stuff about having babies, and so on. It was so extreme that I literally did *not* enjoy my pregnancy. At all. I am kind of regretting that now. I was sitting today thinking about when Annalise kicked me from the inside and I could see the movement from the outside. That was pretty awesome, but I didn't think so at the time. When I was pregnant, all I wanted was for it all to be over. Now, I will never have those days back.
Same with the birth. I definitely could have enjoyed the birth. I had almost no pain. When I was in delivery, my only problem was lack of strength from not having eaten or slept in 2 days- not pain. I went through the whole process just mentally crossing things that "might go wrong" off the list as we passed whatever point they would have happened at. Even when I was pushing and they said, "Here comes the head", I still thought the baby just wouldn't come and they'd have to rush me into surgery. I must have read that somewhere. So I didn't enjoy that moment- and I will never have it back.
It's a little sad.
Well, Anna weighed 8 pounds 7 oz, and I didn't need a C-section after all.
Not only was I SO glad she did not tell me this, (I had bad anxiety in my pregnancy and if I knew I probably would have freaked out and scheduled a C-section anyway), but I was SO glad that I ended up not listening to all this "internet advice" to insist on going all the way to 42 weeks without an induction. All this stuff about pitocin increasing your chance of C-section.... well, if I had gone to 42 weeks (I'd still be pregnant now, uuughhhh), then Annalise would have definitely ended up weighing 9 (or more), and THEN I would have needed a C-section.
*Not* inducing would have increased my chances.
Lesson number 89732 for why to filter the advice you get online.
I was also feeling kind of sad today. I was feeling sad, because of all the negativity in my pregnancy about stuff going wrong, negative stuff about having babies, and so on. It was so extreme that I literally did *not* enjoy my pregnancy. At all. I am kind of regretting that now. I was sitting today thinking about when Annalise kicked me from the inside and I could see the movement from the outside. That was pretty awesome, but I didn't think so at the time. When I was pregnant, all I wanted was for it all to be over. Now, I will never have those days back.
Same with the birth. I definitely could have enjoyed the birth. I had almost no pain. When I was in delivery, my only problem was lack of strength from not having eaten or slept in 2 days- not pain. I went through the whole process just mentally crossing things that "might go wrong" off the list as we passed whatever point they would have happened at. Even when I was pushing and they said, "Here comes the head", I still thought the baby just wouldn't come and they'd have to rush me into surgery. I must have read that somewhere. So I didn't enjoy that moment- and I will never have it back.
It's a little sad.
There isn't much to say.
I am still here. Annalise and I are spending our days feeding, changing diapers, and laying in bed watching my netflix DVD's of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Yesterday, we watched 6 episodes in season 2- 2 of which, John was home for.
My parents came over today, and mom watched the baby while dad took me grocery shopping. Anna slept the whole time my mom watched her again, and I was glad. I'd rather she sleep the whole time...
Mom knows what to do , but still.
My parents came over today, and mom watched the baby while dad took me grocery shopping. Anna slept the whole time my mom watched her again, and I was glad. I'd rather she sleep the whole time...
Mom knows what to do , but still.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Confused about sleep
All the baby advice online says to "sleep when the baby sleeps". They make it out to be an emergency, too, like you BETTER get sleep, because it's YOUR ONLY CHANCE, and so on.
We were warned that babies never sleep, and that we'd be sleep deprived. What ended up happening is that we have to get up 2 or 3 times a night to feed her, but that's it. We all go back to sleep.
I have gotten up in the middle of the night before for other things. Like, I had small bladder problems both in my teen years and in pregnancy. I used to get up at 3 am for work. The only time I truly did not get sleep was when I filled in on the graveyard shift at the child abuse shelter. I hadn't trained myself on that schedule. I didn't work that shift enough to try and train myself, and I worked it often enough for it to be a problem.
Annalise sleeps a lot throughout the day. And I am not saying that's all she does. She doesn't just wake up to be fed, changed and BAM go to sleep- although that's pretty much what she does at night. During the day, she wakes up to be fed, stays awake for a while, I hold her and walk around, she looks around and "Takes in", etc. Then, she falls asleep until she's hungry again.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps" is not going to happen. I can't possibly sleep that much, not even on hydrocodone. Dr. Wei told me that newborns sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day. Holy crap!!! Then... why all the fear mongering during pregnancy about how they never sleep????
We were warned that babies never sleep, and that we'd be sleep deprived. What ended up happening is that we have to get up 2 or 3 times a night to feed her, but that's it. We all go back to sleep.
I have gotten up in the middle of the night before for other things. Like, I had small bladder problems both in my teen years and in pregnancy. I used to get up at 3 am for work. The only time I truly did not get sleep was when I filled in on the graveyard shift at the child abuse shelter. I hadn't trained myself on that schedule. I didn't work that shift enough to try and train myself, and I worked it often enough for it to be a problem.
Annalise sleeps a lot throughout the day. And I am not saying that's all she does. She doesn't just wake up to be fed, changed and BAM go to sleep- although that's pretty much what she does at night. During the day, she wakes up to be fed, stays awake for a while, I hold her and walk around, she looks around and "Takes in", etc. Then, she falls asleep until she's hungry again.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps" is not going to happen. I can't possibly sleep that much, not even on hydrocodone. Dr. Wei told me that newborns sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day. Holy crap!!! Then... why all the fear mongering during pregnancy about how they never sleep????
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