When my doctor came to see me on rounds the day after Annalise was born, she started raving about what a good job I did. I said, I "didn't know how I did that". And it was true- I *didn't* know how I did it. Then, the doctor told me something that I was glad she didn't tell me before the birth. She said that she was starting to think I had "half a chance" of needing a C-section. Why you may ask? Because she thought the baby was starting to measure almost 9 pounds, and since I am 5 foot 3 and all...
Well, Anna weighed 8 pounds 7 oz, and I didn't need a C-section after all.
Not only was I SO glad she did not tell me this, (I had bad anxiety in my pregnancy and if I knew I probably would have freaked out and scheduled a C-section anyway), but I was SO glad that I ended up not listening to all this "internet advice" to insist on going all the way to 42 weeks without an induction. All this stuff about pitocin increasing your chance of C-section.... well, if I had gone to 42 weeks (I'd still be pregnant now, uuughhhh), then Annalise would have definitely ended up weighing 9 (or more), and THEN I would have needed a C-section.
*Not* inducing would have increased my chances.
Lesson number 89732 for why to filter the advice you get online.
I was also feeling kind of sad today. I was feeling sad, because of all the negativity in my pregnancy about stuff going wrong, negative stuff about having babies, and so on. It was so extreme that I literally did *not* enjoy my pregnancy. At all. I am kind of regretting that now. I was sitting today thinking about when Annalise kicked me from the inside and I could see the movement from the outside. That was pretty awesome, but I didn't think so at the time. When I was pregnant, all I wanted was for it all to be over. Now, I will never have those days back.
Same with the birth. I definitely could have enjoyed the birth. I had almost no pain. When I was in delivery, my only problem was lack of strength from not having eaten or slept in 2 days- not pain. I went through the whole process just mentally crossing things that "might go wrong" off the list as we passed whatever point they would have happened at. Even when I was pushing and they said, "Here comes the head", I still thought the baby just wouldn't come and they'd have to rush me into surgery. I must have read that somewhere. So I didn't enjoy that moment- and I will never have it back.
It's a little sad.
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